


I'm Sorry (I don't think you meant it when you said you didn't want me)

by BadBatch (Forever_Cynical)



Series: Flash Fiction Challenge [16]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fix it for death, implied suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25973404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Cynical/pseuds/BadBatch
Summary: Flash Fic ChallengeYennefer comes across a cabin in the woods, a woman in front of it tending to her flowers. A woman Yennefer knew once. A woman Yennefer thought was dead.
Relationships: Tissaia de Vries/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Flash Fiction Challenge [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879456
Comments: 7
Kudos: 50





	I'm Sorry (I don't think you meant it when you said you didn't want me)

“You’re alive.” Yennefer breathed, shock filling her entire system as she stood in front of a woman, she long thought was dead. Said woman was currently bent down in front of her, a lone cabin in the woods, caring for the colourful flowers in front of it.

“Be careful Yennefer, don’t sound so relieved, I might begin to think that you like me.” Tissaia replies, standing up straight and turning to the woman. Long gone were the woman’s long, sensible dresses. Now she stood in front of Yennefer in black riding trousers and a blue shirt, clearly tailored for her. The woman’s wrists were just visible and Yennefer could see the scars that had haunted her for so many years.

“Tissaia, what, I don’t understand.” Yennefer furrowed her eyebrows. “Triss found you, she checked, I know she wouldn’t lie and I know she would tell me if she thought you were alive.”

“I had to be dead to the world to finally get some piece, my students had used me in their game to get control, it was when I realised what you, The Lodge, were doing that I decided enough was enough.” Tissaia shrugged as she brushed the dirt off her hands. “I decided I would leave the world of magic and finally just take time for me, I knew if any of you thought I was alive, you’d pull me back in or if Phillipa found out, she would probably kill me herself.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Yennefer’s guilt had haunted her for years, the woman’s death had been Yennefer’s lowest point. To find out her mentor, the woman she had loved, still loved, had taken her own life, had haunted her since the moment she found out it had happened. Yennefer had decided in that moment she didn’t deserve happiness, she had told Geralt to find someone else and had gone on, on her own. “I would never have agreed to the coup if I had known.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t, you all just thought of yourselves, you didn’t think about the people you were using, didn’t think about the consequences of your actions.” Tissaia replied so nonchalantly, that Yennefer winced. “You thought, what, that I’d just congratulate you for treating me so carelessly, you know, I don’t think I’ll ever not be disappointed in you, Triss and Sabrina, Phillipa I expected this bullshit from, Keira was always so easily swayed but you three, you three I remain disappointed even after all these years.”

“Tissaia.” Yennefer went to move forward but was stopped by a barrier of magic. She couldn’t approach the woman. Tissaia moved to stand in front of the barrier, in front of Yennefer. “Please, just let me in.”

“How can I let you in, how can I trust you Yennefer?” She could finally see it. Finally see the hurt in the older woman’s eyes. “All these years, you think I haven’t known that you’ve become some sort of magical nomad, that you dropped the witcher and decided you didn’t deserve love, you think I don’t know what this means?”

“Please, please let me in.” Yennefer begged. It had been so long since she had seen the older woman. So long since she had heard her voice. She wanted nothing more than to feel her soft touch, to smell her scent.

“You love me.” Tissaia stated, she shook her head as her eyes filled with tears. “You loved me but you were still so willing to use me as a pawn and the worst thing is, is that I loved you too, I had loved you for so long, I think I was always destined to love you.”

“Please.”

“No.” Tissaia replied for turning away from the barrier. “Go, leave, forget you saw me Yennefer, if you bring someone here they won’t see the cabin or me, go Yennefer, I don’t want you.”

“You’re lying, you’re lying.” Yennefer clenched her hands together and felt the chaos rise in her. She would do it. She would let it explode once more. She moved through the barrier, it was painful. Her chaos stopped the worst of it, but she could still feel it like knives amongst her skin.

She exited the barrier and walked towards the woman who had quickly span round, feeling Yennefer break through the barrier. Her mouth open in shock as Yennefer grabbed her and pulled her into her chest.

“I won’t leave, I can’t leave, not now, not ever, I love you, I have always loved you and I will do anything to prove to you that I will never hurt you, not again, not ever, I can’t forget you, I’ve never been able to forget you, please, please, Tissaia.” Yennefer begged as she dropped to her knees, looking up at the woman, arms still wrapped around the older woman’s legs.

Tissaia brought her hand to Yennefer’s cheek and looked into her eyes. The Remorse, the love, it was all overwhelming. She swallowed as she went over her options. She could kill her. She could wipe her memory. She could hit her really hard in the face. She’d thought about that one often.

“You may stay, for now, I can’t promise anything, I can’t promise I will forgive you but if there is one thing I know, I have always had trouble saying no to you.” Tissaia sighed, as Yennefer’s face went from pleading to a small smile.

“I love you.” The younger woman said as she stood up.

“I know.” Was all Tissaia said as she began to tend to the garden again, Yennefer on the floor watching her do so.

Nothing worth having was ever easy to obtain.

But love, love was always worth the hardship.


End file.
